The only thing I dislike more than Christmas is Christmas music.
I hold a special, dark place in my heart for the disdain that I hold towards everything Christmas has come to represent; guilt, obligation, consumption, greed, shopping, waste and gluttony.
And the music….well, I can see the appeal to some of traditional songs, but I detest more than anything when the latest pop star has released their holiday album with ruined versions of previous favorites.
I worked my way through college in a retail setting and was subjected to long shifts filled with certain CDs of torture set to repeat. It only increased my distaste.
But, there is one, and only one song, that I love.
The small, dark place in my heart that hates Christmas is eclipsed by a day glow bright place saved just for George Michael.
I have always loved Georgics Panayiotou. His music is simultaneously silly and brilliant. I have tried to sing “Careless Whisper” at karaoke and it only increased my respect for his talent. I completely ruined the song, in case you were wondering.
I worried about him through all the falling asleep behind the wheel and ensuing arrest madness. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when he entered rehab. I hope he emerges healthy and refreshed and will tour again. I must see him live one day.
Wham!’s “Last Christmas” depicts a holiday I could stand behind. If the holiday was truly about feathered hair mullets, laughing sweatered friends, snowball fights, sparklers on cakes and sparkling flower broaches, then maybe I would like it.
I love all the drama packed into this song. The stolen awkward glances and forlorn longing make it even better. The best part is probably seeing a man who is clearly not interested in women, pretend to be upset about losing one.
There is nothing not to love about this song, except the shameful covers by pop princess Taylor Swift and Ariana Grande. When I heard those versions, I wanted to pat them on the forehead and say, that was cute, but STOP!
Please enjoy the one true version of this song and do yourself a favor by watching the whole video!