Mantra Monday: “I Am Truthful.”

satya

The next Yama I am exploring is Satya, or truthfulness. It’s very easy for me to automatically say, “I am always truthful, I never lie!” However, when I take the time to truly explore truthfulness both on and off my mat, I realize there is still work to do.
I learned a long time ago that I am not a good liar, and I work towards always being honest with others so I do not have to remember what non or half truths I told them. This has not always been easy for someone who does not like to speak up for herself, cause confrontation or say anything upsetting to someone. However, I have learned it’s much easier to just be honest.
The work that I need to do is mostly in being honest with myself, particularly in what I am currently capable of doing (or not doing). I set grand goals for myself each week. I hope to get in both a yoga class and gym workout or run everyday. I am starting to realize this is pretty unrealistic and also harmful for my body and overall, unreasonable. Last week, I had a nearly week long migraine that made me get real honest, pretty quick about what I have been pushing myself to do. I tried to run 4 miles, when I really should not have. I needed to practice something I tell my yoga students often, practice with the body you have today! Not the one you had five years ago and not the one you want to wake up with tomorrow, but where you are today.
I often think about days when I used to train for marathons and tell myself four miles is nothing, but that’s not where I am right now and I need to learn to practice contentment with this and slowly work towards where I want to be.
The other area I need to work on in truthfulness is saying Yes, when in fact, I meant NO. I often over-commit to things and end up feeling drained, resentful and dreading the tasks ahead of me. I have a hard time saying no and disappointing anyone and I generally want to do everything, however, sometimes, I do not stop and look at my current commitments and how taking on additional tasks will make me feel. This will be a hard one for me, but I need to remember a great quote that I heard, “NO is a complete sentence.” I know learning to say this when appropriate will help me feel less stressed.
Where do you feel you could be more truthful in your own life?

Music Monday: Theme Song of 2016

I like to start off my year by picking a theme song. Along with setting my intentions for the year, I like to choose a song as a personal ballad to play through my head as I move towards my intentions.

This year, I intend to move towards more intensity in various areas of my life. I have treated myself with a lot of care, softness and healing in the past year, because I needed it. I still reserve my right to use these methods when I need to, but I feel ready to move on and turn up the heat in my life.

In 2016, I want to sing more in my car.

I want to push myself more in my workouts.

I want to go to more hot yoga classes.

I want to say yes more, but still assert my right to say no.

I want to make the most out of my time alone in the mornings.

I want to read both for fun and for knowledge.

I want to become a better yoga teacher.

I want to infuse passion into my career.

I want to strengthen my personal relationships and move them past the point of shallow conversations. I want less pleasantries and more honesty. I want to decrease any conversations based on toxicity or negativity.

I want to stop relying on negative coping mechanisms and be brave enough to cope honestly with my issues and stress.

As I reflected back on my favorite books of 2015, I realized I was gravitating towards women who garnered their strength from vulnerability and honesty. I spent the past few years opening up, finding peace with my own vulnerability and decreasing my shame in my own perceived “weaknesses.” I feel ready to now emerge into the strength and embody the lessons I have learned from the hurtful moments of my life.

The song that will rally me along is Fleetwood Mac’s “Golddust Woman.” Partly because I want to picture myself as Stevie Nicks wearing this super fun hat:

super fun hat But mostly, because I interpret this song about a woman who is not to be messed with, a woman who will not be stopped or driven off her path. A woman who rocks on and does not fall in line to anyone’s limitations of her.

Rock on, gold dust woman will be pumping through my veins when I do not want to go to the gym, when I would rather sleep in or when I want to hide from myself. I am ready to embrace my strength and be brave.

What is your song for 2016?