Hair In A Bun Friday: Chaos!

It’s true what they say, when one opportunity closes, another one arises.  I’ve been feeling the effects of that saying for the last couple of weeks.

My mom and dad, after having retired and moved to Arizona fifteen years ago, decided to move back to the house our family grew up in.  Even though I’d visit them periodically during the summer and holidays, it’ll be nice to have them so close by.  I’m actually kind of excited they’re back because I sense a lot of healing is going to happen now that they’re more accessible.

Last week I wrote about taking some time away from my career and allowing myself to tie my hair in a loosely fitted bun, sans make-up, in order to regroup and refocus .  I believe part of that is going to include visiting my parents on a regular basis.  Something real interesting happened during their move back that I’d like to share on this week’s post.

My mom and I are alike in many ways.  Mom is impulsive and so am I.  She got herself into a financial pickle (another trait we share) which led to the decision to sell the house in Tucson and move back here; the equity of the house in Tucson will pay off all her bills and she’ll be able to breath once again.  Well, in order for that to become a reality, mam has to wait patiently for her plans to unfold.

Mom has never been one to plan things out or think things through, it’s mostly been – here’s the decision, let’s do it and hope for the best and clean up the mess after we’re done. In a nut shell, that’s how I run my own life, but this time I was able to see it play out before me.  After haphazardly renting a huge moving van, moving everything into the house in California, and then traveling back to Arizona to put the house up for sale – all at the age of 78 – my mom lost her wallet and my dad broke his ankle.

Chaos ensued.

It took a couple of days to walk my mom off the ledge.

For me, this is going to be a year where I get to speak and interact with my parents as an adult.  This is going to be a time to heal ourselves through our own shared experiences and enlightening conversations.  I’m really blessed to have this personal time with them as we enter into another season of our lives.

Love and Peace,

Hair In A Bun Friday: Back to Basics

Exodus 20:12 Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

I took a couple of weeks off from contributing to Spiritual Bahana due to personal issues that I’ve been dealing with over the last year.  I’d like to share some of the events with you on today’s post of Hair In A Bun Friday.

In November of 2012, I received my second credential in education, this time as an Education Specialist; take away the fancy words and what you get is a special education teacher.  Although I enjoyed teaching as a regular ed instructor, I felt the need to go back and get my second credential due to the slow economy.  Teachers were getting pink slipped year after year and in order to remain marketable, I decided a second certificate would give me the edge I needed to stay afloat.

When the 2013/2014 academic school year began, my two credentials in education along with a Masters in Teaching paid off; I was hired on by an affluent district in a desirable neighborhood – in short – I had arrived.  Little did I know this would be the year my life would fall apart.

When I signed my new contract in June of 2013, I was hired on to teach a 5/6 combination class.  I knew it would be a challenge but I was up for it.  Up to this point in my career, I had worked exclusively with low income, predominately Hispanic populations.  The students really needed the basics when it came to education so there wasn’t a lot of time for enrichment activities.  The new district I was contracted to work under would give me an opportunity to work with students who were more prepared.  Unfortunately, two weeks before the school year began, I was moved to the first grade and only had minimal time to prepare for a grade level I had never taught before.

What I didn’t know about myself when I signed on the dotted line was that the new population I would be working for would bring out a wave of insecurities and self doubt.  I was no longer working for uneducated parents but professionals who would demand the very best for their students.  I was not prepared; it became a stressful nightmare and I ended up walking out of the job without prior notice.  My impulsive behavior that had followed me around all my life finally caught up with me in October of 2013.

When the 2014/2015 school year started, I was back with the previous district I had worked for and was ready to begin a new chapter.  It didn’t take long for that new chapter to end quickly.  The previous district I worked for went after my credentials – for good reason – and I’m now on administration leave for 44 days.  I go back next week after having been off for 6 weeks without pay.

I had the opportunity to fight the decision and hire a lawyer to postpone the suspension but after 7 years of fighting to remain employed and having gone to school and worked hard for great evaluations – I was tired of fighting.  I was tired of fighting for a job that was only getting more stressful as each year passed.

When I go back next week, there will only be a month left of the remaining school year. I’ve decided to resign and sub for the upcoming year.  I need a year to regroup and rethink the future.  Within the last several years, I’ve held on tight to my spiritual practices which have been my saving grace through out this whole ordeal.  If it hadn’t been for my faith, I don’t know where I would be; probably in a lawyers office trying to protect my income and excellent health benefits.

Next week, I’d like to continue this subject and write about what I’ve decided to do spiritually for the coming year.

I’m going to channel Christina and go back to basics:




Hair In A Bun Friday: It’s Good To Be Friday

“Catholicism is not a soothing religion.  It’s a painful religion.  We’re all gluttons for punishment.” Madonna

Whether you believe Jesus was the son of God or if he was just a holy prophet, let’s all take time today to tie our hair up in a bun for Jesus.

When I was younger and practicing my Catholic faith, along with my family, I remember I couldn’t stand Good Friday. The television had to be off the whole day, we had to eat fish for dinner and go to mass at night.

Looking back though, I’m grateful to my mom for introducing religion into my life. It gave me a structure to build from now that I’m an adult. It has also been a blessing to lean on when life gets rough. The cycle of: life, death and resurrection has given me peace in times when I find that I have to give up an old way of thinking, believing or acting.  The experience may be painful but I have hope that one day that stone will roll away and I’ll find new life.

Hope everyone one takes time to have a Good Friday!







Hair In A Bun Friday: Psychosis and Neurosis

I like to play smart, three-dimensional women. I also like to play roles where the women are a little crazy. I just have a feel for crazy people. Lili Taylor

Now that it’s Friday’s Eve and most of us are winding down for the weekend (except our sisters who work retail or any other job that requires weekends) let us all get ready to tie our hair in a loosely fitted bun as we explore the inner workings of our own personal crazy.

I have the blessing of having Angelina in my life. Why is this such a blessing? I’d have to say it’s due to some of the personal issues I’m currently going through. I’ve never been one to explore my own inner crazy due to the embarrassment, shame, guilt or whatever other emotion is out there that stopped me. But the stars have aligned at this moment in time and I’m finding myself in a safe space to let it all go and explore. As with everything, once we allow ourselves to feel, express or learn something, we start seeing other examples of it all around us.

Currently I’m on Spring Break with absolutely no plans at all except to sit around and read, drink coffee and watch endless reruns of Will and Grace on WE.  I was recently watching an episode in which Grace and Leo decide at the last minute to get married. When they get back to the apartment, Grace tells Will the news but he isn’t as excited about it as she thought.  As Grace strong arms Will because he refuses to be happy for her, Leo breaks them up and says, whoa take it easy (to Grace) I still need him (Will) for the 20% of you I can’t handle.  I love that line.

There are certain parts of myself that even can’t handle; that’s why it’s always nice to have friends who can help us out with that little 20%.

Hope you take time this weekend to let it all hang out – just don’t get arrested.


Hair In A Bun Friday: Tying It For Spiritual Seekers

Our Generation has had no Great war, no Great Depression. Our war is spiritual. Our depression is our lives. ~ Chuck Palahniuk

I’ve been tying my hair up in a loosely fitted bun lately while reading the spiritual experiences of our readers who have contributed to Spiritual Sidebar.  This is a weekly Tuesday post in which family and friends are given specific questions to answer about their personal spirituality.

In the past, I would have never read someone else’s take on spirituality if they weren’t of my same mind set.  Today, as I’ve been seeking my own path outside the familiar, I’m more interested than ever to see what people’s experiences have been.

As this blog continues to unfold, I’m finding that it represents more than just a girl, a gay and God; it represents different periods in the spiritual journey itself.  Before, when I was a young teen on fire for the Lord, I thought I had all the answers; I thought my religion and beliefs were the only truth, but they weren’t.  That was just a piece of my life which continues to unfold today. So whether you’re a person who has had one belief your entire life, no faith at all, or a purveyor of a variety of faiths, please feel free to read from our contributors; they’re all very interesting and unique.

Spiritual Sidebar: Marcella

Spiritual Sidebar: Leslie

Spiritual Sidebar: Barb

Spiritual Sidebar: Ric


Hair In A Bun Friday: Tying it up For My Sistah Friend Iyanla Vanzant

“I gave myself permission to feel and experience all of my emotions. In order to do that, I had to stop being afraid to feel. In order to do that, I taught myself to believe that no matter what I felt or what happened when I felt it, I would be okay.” Iyanla Vanzant

Angelina and I always tie our hair up in a bun right before we discuss anything that has to do with Iyanla Vanzant – we love her!

I was first introduced to the Yoruba priestess back in 2012 after reading her book Peace From Broken Pieces: How To Get Through, What You’re Going Through.


 I. LOVED. THE. TITLE.  Little did I know I’d love her autobiography much, much more. There are two ways a person can approach her life’s story; poor black child who made it out of the projects or a strong spiritual woman who uses her life’s journey as a way to teach about destructive generational patterns.  I’m currently listening to the audio book – for the 5th time – as I go to and from work.  It always inspires me and gives me hope on those days when I’m so out of it, I can’t even find the time to dry my hair before tying it in a loosely fitted bun.

If you’re a sister who believes in generational patterns and the distruction it can cause if gone unchecked, then this book is definitely for you.  You can also find her on Iyanla Fix My Life (I completely get it when it comes to the title) and also on Oprah’s Life Class.

2 24 2012 Ianyla Pilot

Hope all our sisters take time to rest this weekend.



Hair In A Bun Friday: Tying It Up For Madonna

“Being destructive isn’t brave, they couldn’t say it to my face, one day I won’t care but for the moment I’m not there…” Madonna

As a young gay teen back in the 80’s I remember when Like A Virgin was a huge hit.  I also remember what a fit my mom would throw every time the song would come on.  I didn’t understand it back then but today I appreciate all the controversy Madonna stirred up in the past when it came to religion and the Catholic Church.

As my ideas about religion and God evolve, I’d like to take some time out to tie my hair in a bun and make a collage montage of Her Madgesty with her hair tied in a bun:

Article 23-Vanity Fair Photo images mgid-uma-video-mtvLately Madge has been taking a lot of heat because of her age as well as her on stage foibles.  But one thing is for sure, she always turns out good music! I’ve been obsessing over her new song Joan of Arc lately because of the vulnerable lyrics.  It has a Borderline/True Blue type of rhythm to it which brings me back to classic Madonna.

Happy Friday!