“If I had known for just one second you’d be back to bother me.” Gloria Gaynor
Although Angelina and I started out the summer refreshed, renewed and ready to take on our blog once again, we’re finding the new school year, as well as other personal issues, zapping our energy. Over the last couple of months it appears as if everyone in Angelina’s family is either getting married, having babies or celebrating a birthday. This has been a stressful time for her both financially and mentally. This has also left little time for my spiritual sister and I to spend together.
As for me, work is draining me more than usual. I had some drama with another coworker at the beginning of the school year which resulted in him leaving for a period of time…and me taking over his caseload. This put a lot of pressure on my mental health and I started feeling that dark cloud sensation over my head. It got so bad at one point – I broke down in tears in front of another coworker. I had to leave early because I couldn’t keep it together.
One of the things Angelina has been reminding me of first thing in the morning is this: we are not our feelings. After the summer we had, I believe it.
Whether traveling through China, or relaxing on an inner tube while floating down the Smith River, neither of us experienced anxiety or mental breakdown during our time away from work. On those nights where I feel as if I’m going to go crazy, I have to remind myself that this is not me. I don’t get this high strung while I’m away from the crazy that is work.
Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been using the mantra: I will survive this, I will survive this. It hasn’t been easy during those times of high stress but I manage it by coming home, shutting the door to the outside world and allowing myself to collapse on my bed in order to regenerate for the next day. I don’t go out or talk to anyone, I just sit in my room and allow myself to rest. It helps a lot.
As the month of October winds down, I also remind myself that in education, the first three months are always the hardest. It’s the time when kids are getting use to their new teacher, classroom and friends. It’s also the time when teachers have to be more strict in order to have control of the classroom for the rest of the year. With only two more weeks of October left and the long holiday vacations almost before us, I can start to see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Let’s just hope Angelina and I make it until then.